Seeing is Believing; Believing is Achieving

To find a business idea, we’re often told to search for a problem and offer a solution. One simply needs to find out what people really need and offer it to be wildly successful.

That’s one view.

We could cast blindly about in search of some novel product or service that we believe people need, and this method has definitely been successful for some.

But if we were to consider business ideas in light of the excellent advice of following your bliss, finding your passion or creating your blue flame, it seems to be much better to ask yourself what you personally desperately want. What you feel is missing or needed in your life, what issue you’ve struggled with for years, what your major goals are — in short, what you would name as your greatest personal challenge, past or present, and realize this is potentially an enormous, personal contribution, from you, to the world at large.

Although there may be similarities, no one else has your life. No one else will handle your challenges in exactly the same manner. The combination of your background, experiences, intellect and emotional make up is not matched anywhere else in the WORLD! This means you have something to offer that no one else ever has and perhaps something to offer that no one else ever will.

So knowing this just how do we make our offering?

The creative outlets are largely the same for any information product or service. One can:

• Write a book
• Lecture, speak, or teach
• Create a game
• Start an organization (non-profit etc)
• Package your solution as a unique product or service (tapes, CDs, DVDs, consulting etc.)
• Do all of the above

What is important is the frame of mind with which we go about sharing. We can work to solve our problem and market our proposed solution. We can share extensive research in an area very important to us. We can collect stories of others with the same challenge and how they dealt with it. If nothing else, we can serve as an example of what not to do.

An no, I am not joking.

An advocate for security may well be one who lost a loved one to violence. An advocate for adult education and literacy may be a former high school drop out who had poor reading skills but later graduated from college — or at 65 wishes he or she had and wants others to learn from their experience.

You see everyone has something to teach, something to offer.

What is your gift?

Your life here is your gift from God.
What you do with it is your gift to God.

This article was actually meant for another domain that I’m developing. I initially believed it not to be a very good fit for this blog and it dawned on me — for all that we may be seekers of spiritual truths and ideas, we all live in the day to day secular world as well. I hope this proves useful to some of you, this topic has been on my mind for some time.

The Success Formula

I have seen many books, advertisements, websites, CDs, DVDs, and public spokesmen, all promoting some version of a secret formula guaranteed to make you successful, if you but only pay $19.99, $199.99, or even $1,999.99 to receive the information.

Always the maverick maven, I have decided to offer you this miraculous formula for nothing more than the time it costs you to read this!

The first equation of our life engineering course is:

Life Equations #1: (Money * Ideas) + Effort = Success

What does this mean to us?

The amount of success you are capable of producing is directly related to both the amount of money you have AND the number of ideas you are able to generate. A simple idea, right? To put this into practice, let us first dispel a few myths.

Myth #1: Money ? Success

Perhaps you were thinking that all you need is more money and then you can be deemed “successful”. Unfortunately, this is not the case. A brief search will give you plenty of examples of those who were very wealthy and committed suicide, even more examples of the rich and miserable, and even more examples of new or next generation millionaires who squandered their funds.

It may come as a surprise to discover that you will also find examples of those who fell from great heights, only to regain or even surpass their lofty places once again.

What is the constant in both cases? Ideas – either the lack thereof or the ability to carry them out to fruition.

The concept of concepts, your ability to generate promising ideas, leads us to another myth that must also be dispelled.

Myth #2: The Next Big Idea

If the success industry has a partner in its attempts to ensnare the ever-hopeful, it would be those who promise you access to the Next Big Idea.

This is the big idea that promises to grant you riches beyond your wildest dreams. It is the idea that you must not hesitate to act upon! It’s a ground floor investment opportunity! It’s guaranteed to become the next iPod, personal computer, whoseathingywhatsit that one day we all must have!

An idea does not need to be novel and exciting in order to be successful. It does not need to promise to revolutionize life as we know it. In fact, such an idea would be more difficult to carry out.

Now, I am not attempting to discourage present or would be inventors, but what I am saying is that most ideas are concerned with the improvement of an existing product, service or process.

If you are able to add, or create the perception of adding, more value to a product or service that already has an established market, you have an idea which is worth pursuing.

Now before you go out to build and market your better mousetrap, there is one more myth we need to dispel.

Myth #3: All You Need Is a Little Capital and a Good Idea

After hours, days, months, or even years of soul searching, market research, talks with friends etc, you have it – your dream business, your direct path up the corporate ladder, the new product or service you’re going to launch, all the degrees or licenses you need. You have IT.

All the hard work is done! Your future success is assured!

Not quite yet. It is this thought that leads us to the final part of the equation, effort.

All the money and great ideas in the world will not lead to much success without positive effort. Positive effort is effort that takes you in the direction you want to go. It drives your idea forward. It is the last, but the most important part of the formula for success.

Effort is the one part of the equation that you have complete and total control over. The amount of money at your disposal can fluctuate, ideas may prove to be lackluster and need revisions or replacement, but the effort you give the project – your drive, persistence, dedication – is what guarantees success.

How can success ever be “guaranteed”?

We have to remember that success does not mean the lack of failure. In many ways, it is simply achievement despite what may look like setbacks or failures. Just as sales and cold-calling is said to be a numbers game, so is success.

News Flash! You are going to have failures. The key is to make sure you fail forward. That you move from one idea or attempt to another with no loss of enthusiasm while learning from your mistakes.

Take your cue from the science and engineering fields and be willing to experiment, and recognize that you are indeed engaging in an experiment. Learn to accurately measure your results and decide what can be done to make your project or idea more successful. For in reality, that’s all a “failure” is – an outcome that is not as successful as you desired.

It follows then that success must come from the continual improvement of our failures.

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“I have to wonder, though, Sibbia…although I understand your reasoning behind giving God the credit…isn’t there a balance point we can achieve where we are responsible (in a healthy way) for BOTH accomplishments and mistakes??? I’m not talking about a purely egotistic, “Look at Me” sort of thing…but a healthy feeling of pride in reaching goals, doing a good thing, etc., can help motivate me to doing more good

Plus, it helps me to see myself as a part of God - and not something ’seperate’.

What are your additional thoughts on this?”

This comment was left by Grace, truly one of my favorite bloggers, in response to this post. It deserved a well thought out response which I will attempt to deliver right now.

To begin to give my thoughts on this, the first thing I have to cover is just what is a mistake. Webster defines mistake as:

1 : a wrong judgment : misunderstanding 2 : a wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or inattention.

So to have made a mistake, I have to use incorrect judgment or have been missing necessary information at the time I made my decision or action. This means I was not functioning with my highest potential or a connection to the Divine.

It is my understanding that, with effort and sincerity, any person can become enlightened, i.e. regain and maintain a connection to the Divine, the true source of all life, knowledge, understanding, energy and potential. After all, Jesus said we were to go out and accomplish even greater works.

Three of my personal affirmations for this are:

I tap into my Divine wisdom and am led to the right path and right decision at all times.

God is omniscient and knows all things about all things. God is omnipresent and therefore exists in me. I draw on the omniscience inside myself and all learning, wisdom, knowledge and insight flow into my being and awareness.

&

I am connected to the one Cosmic Mind of the Universe and knowledge and understanding flow to me effortlessly.

So what about accomplishments?

Likewise, accomplishment suggests achievement of some type. I have only one true achievement, only one thing that I can achieve of my own power, as separate and apart from any other being or influence, including the Divine. It is both great and small, monumental and insignificant.

It is the control and direction of my own free will.

If you love something, set it free and allow it the chance to return to you. This is what God has done for the whole of humanity. We each were given our own free will, our own consciousness. My ability to develop and enhance this gift determines the course of my life. This ability to choose cannot be taken away from me, it must be freely given. No matter the external circumstance or situation, I have the ability to decide how to respond to it.

Like an animal I was given instinctual behaviors that help me survive and car for myself. Unlike an animal, I was given the ability to override these instincts, up to the ability to choose death itself.

I recognize this, along with the physical body I was given, as gifts and I attempt to honor them as such. I am not a meek or humble person. I alternate from a quiet reserve that can be seen as lackadaisical to an intense fiery passion with bold forthrightness. I have been known to take great personal offense and bear a grudge. My temper is fiery and bubbles to the surface easily. It has taken years and years of practice to affect any change in these things.

These behaviors, along with others, are “mistakes” and reap what they sow. I’ve made great strides (my own personal assessment) in both by directing my consciousness toward embracing the Divine and seeking to return.

What about being part of God?

As one teacher has said it, being our essence as a Divine being — as part of God — is akin to the wave of the ocean versus the ocean itself. Both are made of the same substance and have the same essential nature, but the wave cannot call itself the ocean, nor command its true force or power. Only by returning our consciousness to the source from which it came, can we realize our Divine potential.

Here are a few more of my affirmations on this subject. I use them daily along with the ones listed above and a few others. I post them in hopes that they help others in their return to God.

Each day I draw closer and closer to God and God draws closer and closer to me.

Each day I experience and express more Divine love and wisdom than the day before.

Everyday I open more to the God-force inside me. Each day I am a better picture of the Divine than the day before.

The essential question is not, “How busy are you?” but “What are you busy at?”  “Are you doing what fulfills you?” — Oprah Winfrey

Rarely do we have only one issue or challenge to deal with.  There are usually several, all of varying and competing important.  So just what needs to be done and when?

Currently, this is the method that I’m using to decide that.  I’m writing this post in hopes that detailing the process will help someone else tackle both the day to day and long term goals.

After identifying them all I can list the areas of life that I’m working on in two ways — by order of importance and in order of time dependence (urgency).  When I do this, I often find that the things that are most important often aren’t the ones that are most urgent.   They truly are important; they just don’t need to be done right now.

This happens with many things:  exercise, meditations, writing my book(s), finding time for research, spending enough time doing enjoyable things with my children, working on my business ventures…

These are all activities that involve long term goals or practices that don’t necessarily create an immediate benefit.  These are quiet patience tasks that beckon to me gently and soothingly.  They murmur promises of great benefit if I will be devote my time and attention to their care.
Meanwhile, other tasks scream and clamor for my attention.  All demand to be attended to right now, right this second, don’t delay!  Each makes sure I’m aware of the benefit they can offer right now, and how important that is.  Examples of such noisy tasks are homework, studying, cooking, cleaning, immediate income needs, illness, sleep, and a moment to relax.

Now, the more I pay attention, or better put, the more I learn how to pay attention, the more I begin to see the “pay attention to me!” activities as tantalizing will-o-wisps who exist to distract me from what really matters.

Of course knowing is only half the battle;  the vital part is putting the knowledge to good use.

To bring my immediate tasks into better alignment with my goals and what I consider truly important, I have to correlate one with the other. I have to work on the long term while I deal with the right now or I’ll find myself without anything  I want achieved even years from now.

So how is that done?

The process I’m settling into now is to work on the long term in short bursts along with the immediate task its related to.  Both meditation and exercise help with getting my homework done, studying and staying healthy.  So as well as naming exercise & mediation and prayer as tasks in their own right, I’m including them as part of tasks they help with.

This means studying and homework sessions are interspersed with meditations on God, what is means to be a child of God, and what is means to be connected to both every living thing and the Divine.  It means I take short breaks to play a set of Pump it Up or spend ten minutes jumping rope or doing jumping jacks.

It is true that some things just need to have more, dedicated time made for them and one way to make that time is to combine things which don’t require much thought or resources.  To that end, I’m looking into a digital recorder which will allow me to create a transcript of the recording, so that my mind can be on writing, business or research while I’m cooking or cleaning or traveling without constantly thinking I’ll write that down later, or remember it.

I also abandoned my books to watch an episode of Inuyasha (our favorite cartoon) with the kids before hustling them off to bed, and I look forward to taking them to play pool and Pump it Up with me on Friday night — a combination of being able to relax and doing more enjoyable things with my children.

Diligent care and attention is needed when our goals don’t line up with our current realities but it is necessary to decide just what we believe is really important and tend to that in some way everyday.

How many times have we heard this? How many times have we said this ourselves?

“I don’t have the money.” “I can’t afford that.” “There’s no way I could pay for that.”

What a limiting mentality!

I was once told the rich tend not to focus on money. Their focus is on ideas, partnerships, resources and ways to create more wealth. Notice I said, create more wealth, not money.

The difference?

The vast majority of people focus on what they have currently and how much more they perceive they need. A few daydream about what it would be like to have large sums of money, true personal freedom or just freedom from debt — then they go right back to focusing on what they have, or worse, they tell themselves about what they can’t have!

Conversely, the rich seek out and capitalize on ideas. By focusing on creating more wealth, they see opportunities that others might miss. By focusing on creating more wealth instead of only securing or managing what they have, they are more likely to assume some risk. Because every idea they have, risk they take or decision they make will not always work in their favor, they become savvy decision makers, focused on learning from a situation and moving on, more positive and proactive, and much better able to handle change.

Starting to see why they are where they are?

I had a brief exchange with a woman in a local corner store today. In a rather jovial spirit, she waltzed into the store singing the lyrics to a popular song, albeit very poorly. She chuckled at her singing and exclaimed about how wonderful it would be to sing like the original artist who performs the piece.

“What it must be like to sing like that!” she said. “You have to go to singing school for yeaaars to get that good! But we’re poor folk, we don’t have money for no singin’ school!”

Perhaps because she said “we” (and I consciously strive to be careful of what I allow my spirit to believe about myself), I immediately said, “That’s not true, both my kids take private lessons and most schools offer some form of financial aid. We’ve had lessons for $7 a half hour.”

“Really?”, she replied. “But my father…”

At that point, I stopped listening. In that moment, I realized she wasn’t just poor, but associated herself with being poor and thus, unable to have what she wanted due to lack — even if that lack was not really a barrier. She wasn’t just poor, but had a poor mentality. Instead of finding a way to achieve what she wanted, she convinced herself that she couldn’t have it.

Most of us suffer from this on some level. It may not be a “poor” mentality, but a working class mentality, a middle class mentality, a upper middle class mentality… Whatever you happen to be now, whatever your station in life, it is in some way a reflection of your thoughts.

“But Sibbia,” you say, “where I am now does not reflect where I’ll be in a year from now (two years from now, five years from now…)”

Perhaps not, but to know your situation is going to change later, your thoughts have begun that process of changing now. You are creating your future in your mind. It exists in the invisible before you make it so. Over time your thoughts will transition from the idea of things changing at some time in the future, to things changing now and then your situation will begin to reflect that mentality.

Now the million dollar question is:

If you decided your situation had changed/was changing right now… if you created a different mental picture of your current circumstances… if you changed your thoughts right this second…

Would the external begin to change right now as well?

Have faith!

P.S.

One of the most powerful thoughts I’d ever heard was, “You are not given any (righteous) desire, without also being given the means to achieve it.” Now go out and conquer!

About a week or two ago, I was browsing the blogosphere, being entertained and informed by various pearls of wisdom when I came across a post called the Think Differently Challenge.

The author talked about the constant rain, something he disliked about where he lived and consciously went through the process of creating new thought about the weather. That he picked the rain reminded me of how relative things are — I know people who love the rain!

The subject reminded me that there truly is no reality to likes and dislikes, good or bad. It is our perception, our thoughts that make them so, and I’ve decided to take part in the challenge.

A value that was near and dear to my heart is autonomy — independence. For years, its’ been a matter of necessity that I be self-reliant and as such, I’ve held pretty negative feelings toward dependency of any type.

I’ve always disliked asking for help (generally because I’ve know it wouldn’t be forth coming or would come with entirely too many strings attached) and I’ve been proud whenever I’ve been able to say, “I did it myself!”

That said, it probably isn’t difficult to see that I’ve had little use for those who couldn’t just “get the job done”. Those who, for whatever reason, could not, on their own power, make what they want happen. The need help or have excuses, and as the ultimate affront, they turn to you to help them with that which managed with n o outside assistance — or at the most, resources available to everyone (books, etc). At least that was my take on it.

In dealing with the technical support role in my job as a programmer (previous life), I often felt sorry for the computer who was sidled with the owner who called me with a problem.

PEBCAK was often the diagnosis — Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard.

One day, a few years ago, I found a bug in my code. For hours, I hunted it relentlessly without food or drink, through the scorching heat of the desert sands and over the frozen wasteland that was the Arctic tundra…

Ok, so I was in my chair in a comfortable, climate controlled office building, but you get the idea, I was persistent. The bug didn’t stand a chance.

I finally found it hiding in an innocuous bit of code and crushed it, dreadfully annoyed that it could hide from me in plain sight! I informed my supervisor of my victory and told him how difficult the hunt had been. Instead of being welcomed home as the triumphant warrior princess that I was, he asked mildly, with no lack of curiosity, why I hadn’t asked someone else for help.

Me? Ask for help?

I wanted to do it myself of course! Prove that I was “good” and capable. What I said was that I didn’t want to bother anyone. I was told it would have gotten done much faster and I’d have accomplished much more if I had asked for assistance. That day put the first crack in the hallowed veneer of my independence, but it’s taken years to bring down the wall.

One thought that is helping me think differently about independence is simply “God as the doer.” In taking responsibility for my faults and giving God the credit for my accomplishments, I no longer have such personal pride attached to the event. The outcome is more important than whether or not I receive direct credit for the work. When thought of ini that light, there is no need to be competitive.

Another helpful thought is that no great work or achievement is done by one man alone. It is a far greater marvel and accomplishment to successfully bring together and manage a team that does together far more than one could manage on their own. That leads to the last thought that I will mention as key to thinking differently about in/dependence is interdependence.

We are inextricably tied to our environment. We cannot walk without stepping foot on the floor/ground which we likely did not create ourselves. We eat food grown by others, use devices we do not know how to build and wear clothes made by someone we’ve never seen. Even when we get behind the wheel of a car to drive, we are working under the implicit assumption that no other driver or passerby has a death wish that day. And let’s not talk about the car itself.

No, even thought it’s taken me a long time to admit it, dependence is the greater skill. To be able to work with, manage, and otherwise successfully interact with groups of people is vital to lasting success — and one thing I will be thinking about differently from now on.

Is there anything you want to think differently about? Anything you want to turn around into a positive? The suggestions for writing such a post are here and I encourage everyone to give it a try.

Let me know how it works!

This post of mine has been long, (too long!) in planning and development. I’ve taken so long to write this particular post that at least one of the people I’m acknowledging today has already received the same award from someone else!

So without any further ado, I give you Sibbia’s award ceremony!

I was honored with the Beautiful Blog and Blogging that Hits the Mark awards by Catherine. Catherine’s blog focuses on health, with the occasional Scrabble lesson, discussion on education and the details of a historical genius thrown in between. The type of post that I believe makes her blog so worth reading is: An Easy Way to Lower Blood Pressure.

I’d like to pass on Blogging that Hits the Mark to:

(drum roll please)

None other than Mark, of the Naked Soul. This is an insightful, prolific bloggers who always gives me cause to think. His blog both challenges and inspires me.

As a parent who never condoned the Santa Claus myth and a child who never believed, I suddenly see how the idea could be beneficial to embrace here: Santa & Unconditional Love. Likewise, I find myself looking hard at what I”m doing, what I want and what I think of myself here: You Deserve.

Both post serve as excellent examples of his writing. Thanks Mark for such thought provoking writing!

&

Enreal! Over at the Journals of Enreal, you will find a mixture of poet, philosopher, loving daughter and encouraging friend. For her poetry I pass to her Blogging that hits the Mark, and for all her encouraging comments, the Nice Matters Award, but now I’m jumping ahead of myself.

A wonderful example of why I chose this blog can be found at this post here: Why You?

The Beautiful Blog award was created by the AntiBarbie, and I am passing this award on to Talking with Night Lights & The Process of Miracles (Morgan’s OTHER site), not only are both interesting writers, they’ve never failed to wow me with the beautiful designs/templates they pick out!

Morgan has just started another experiment! I throughly enjoyed the first experiment, followed her to her new blog, and am eagerly looking forward to the results of her second experiment. She inspires me, and she uses such pretty themes! Here is the first post of her second experiment, great reading and a pretty design.

The next award I have to hand out is the Be The Blog award. This award was presented to me by Opal aka The Vegan Momma, another blogger definitely worth visiting. Her writing helps me explore new ideas and ways of thinking. If you’re like me and are working on your health and energy level, you’ll probably love her post, “Congratulations, you made it!”

The award was created by Mark from Me and My Drum and is available in four colors:

This badge is for bloggers who make their blog their own, stay with it and interact with their readers and have FUN!”

I am passing this badge to:

One of Pennsylvania’s few certified homeopaths, Catherine at Creating Health,

Our resident poet, Sophia at Visions of the World, (check out one of her poems here!)

The novelist (and my favorite fruit), Ms. Wild Pomegranate, By the way, if you see a lost and wandering muse, send her back to her missing writer! (check out this post for an explanation)

The artist and philosopher, Surface Earth (who tells us her shirts are now on sale!),

The mystic, Wendy at Talking to Night Lights. (Check out her post on predictions)

One Inspiring Dude over at One Inspired Dude.com, he’s in the middle of his goal to make 100K in 90 days. Good luck!

and two others. Now while I may not always agree with the next two bloggers, these two women embody the spirit of the award. They have an indomitable spirit, say what they mean and mean what they say. I’ve seen them around several blogs. They are regulars with all my favorite bloggers and from time to time we even visit each other! They are not afraid to take on difficult subjects and all who visit either of them receives a warm welcome, so I just couldn’t have an award ceremony without acknowledging them.

That said, the next two recipients of the Be the Blog award are:

SueAnnEdwards and Mother Winter Moon

These posts here are typical examples of their writing:

It’s Elemental My Dear Watson! — I just loved this post! And From the Rib of “Eve”.

Last, but definitely not least, is the Nice Matters Award.

“This award is the Nice Matters Award, and this award is for nice people, good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. The award should be passed on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award.”

This award was given to me by Morgan at The Process of a Miracle, and I think it’s the award I am most proud of!

I am pleased to be able to pass it on to Opal, Mark, Surface Earth, CuriousC, and Enreal with special mention to two of my readers without formal blogs of their own who always make me smile Jay and Hyacinth.

These people are the type that help make blogging fun! They all quickly answer emails and otherwise interact with you. You’ll find them all around the blogosphere. Special mention to Opal & Morgan for passing on awards and fun memes and to CuriousC, Enreal and Hyacinth who leave comments that just inspire one to write!

And that concludes my first award ceremony! Phew!

I could have just as easily titled this so you want to be wealthy, so you want to be successful, or so you want to be happy, but we’re going to assume you want to be… enlightened!

Your bookcase is filled with the timeless wisdom of the masters. You consider yourself spiritual (and you probably are). Perhaps you’ve decided to forgo crass materialism. Maybe you’ve decided to live a life of service and have dedicated yourself to helping others. You pray, meditate and/or chant daily.

But how’s your health?

When was the last time you made sure you had enough exercise?

What do you eat?

How much sleep do you get?

While it is true that we are not this physical vehicle, it is just as true that we are in this physical vehicle, and affected by it.
The foundation for our success in any endeavor is our health and it is in our best interest to make that foundation as firm as possible.

So just as we learn to control our emotions, breathe, meditate, pray, find and connect with God, we must also learn how to best support our physical vehicles, for it is through them that the Divine must work through us.

Preventive care and maintenance is much easier than fixing something that has gone wrong. That said, I believe it is key for our spiritual growth that we learn about and study natural methods to keep good health. One of my favorite sources of health information is Catherine Carter over at (aptly titled) Creating Health but the subject of good health is so important and so broad that I decided to ask others for their favorites.

The complete list will be maintained on a page created here on this blog so that any and everyone can have quick access to some of the best health writers around.

So I’m asking Catherine and all who read this post, who provides you the best information on diet, exercise, health news, stress management, healthy cooking, or natural & alternative medicine?

Consider yourselves all tagged! Be sure to include a link back here and one to the blogger you’re advocating so I can update the list!

To your success AND your health,

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My long awaited package arrived today. Inside were two books, one of which I’ve been waiting years for. I can remember finishing the book before this one. The tension I felt as the conflict in the story grew, the bitter disappointment as the book wound to a close but the story did not.

I frantically searched for the title of the next book determined that I would buy it immediately and devour the entire thing in one sitting. But it was not to be, no title or publication dates were forthcoming. Time went on, and for the first time in all my decades of reading, I tracked down the author’s website. From time to time, the author would provide updates. She would tease us here and there with stories of her progress.

Eventually there was a publication date!

And another and another before the book was finally released. Each time I eagerly awaited the book’s release and sighed when the date was changed. I even chose not to preorder at Amazon so I could make sure I had the book on the day it was released, but when the bookstore did not have the book when it should have been released, I decided to order it along with another book that my daughter needed for school.

As I said, the long awaited package came today!

When I got around to opening the package, I pulled out the second book, a beautifully illustrated copy of The Human Body: An Illustrated Guide to its Structure, Function and Disorders, instead. I was enthralled by the pictures and explanations – they even described a few surgical procedures! I showed it to my daughter and we talked before going on with our day.

The long overdue and eagerly awaited book didn’t reach my hands for hours later. When it did, I gave it a hug. I happily remembered the hours I spent with the one before it. I looked at the cover, read the acknowledgments and book flaps, and flipped to the last page to get a page count (697, in case you were wondering).
Then, without any qualms, doubts or hesitation, I decided the book would likely wait until Thanksgiving came along to read it. When all was said and done, I read one sentence of the story, and then pondered the ways I could use a well-written, descriptive book to teach writing.

Now before you write me off for showing such angst over a book only for it not to matter much when it arrived, ask yourself how many times and ways you’ve done the same thing.

We are always pursuing something in life. There is always some goal, object, possession or skill we feel as though we must have.

For some of these things, we tell ourselves, “we deserve it!” For others, the argument is made that our lives will be so much better when X happens. This is yet another case of “I’ll be happy when” which I posted about earlier.

How many people do you know who have gotten a degree and then never worked in that field, or hate the work they do now? How many times have you bought something or signed up for some program to never use the item or service in question? How many times have you longed for something only to find it wasn’t at all what you expected, or nearly as important as you previously thought?

We’ve all done this, consciously or unconsciously. This process steals our joy and power by placing them in something outside ourselves. It robs us of our ability to truly focus on the here and now and distorts our sense of what is and isn’t important.

Part of deciding to be happy, deciding to be conscious, is fully accepting the here and now, even while we work to change it. It requires that we keep our mind’s eye trained on our vision, but our eyes on our current situation.

In this way we protect our health, relationships, sense of self and true priorities while we increase our earning potential, learn a new skill, start a business or any other time consuming venture that could allow us to lose focus.

After all, what would finally reaching our goal or receiving our desired object mean if we’ve sacrificed more essential, but often taken for granted, priorities?

P.S.
For anyone who happens to be wondering… the book in question is The High King’s Tomb by Kristen Britain.

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In some circles, the advice you’re given is always the same. For all types of troubles, both big and small, we are told to pray or meditate, engage in positive thinking, examine our beliefs…

The person who is depressed is told to “think positively!” “cheer up!” or “pray about it!”. Likewise for someone who is dealing with anger, an addiction, being overwhelmed. Far too often, the advice is the same, no matter our particular problem.

But people are individuals and as such, we should address what we need at this moment or at this particular place in our lives.

One good model for doing this is water. Given that the human body is made up of nearly 80% of the substance, it can provide some interesting clues for how we should live our lives.

The more objectively we are able to access things, the more accurate our conclusions about the situation become. This exercise uses water as a model to get a clear picture of how our personal energy (chi, life force, or abilities) is flowing, so that we understand how to bring ourselves into balance.

The picture above is that of a phase diagram of water. Water is something we’re all familiar with. At standard conditions (which would be normal pressure and room temperature), water is a liquid. In it’s liquid state, water flows, is more conductive and more concentrated (denser). Perhaps water even prefers this liquid state — ice melts, rain & snow fall, and dew forms all as part of the condensation of water vapor back into a liquid. We could even go so far as to say that water is more “productive” in this state — it’s easier to use, we can drink it, we depend on it in this state.

The same idea is true of us. We prefer, and are more productive, in the liquid or fluid state. We are told to just “relax and go with the flow”. We want things to “flow smoothly” and ideas, money and occasionally libations to “flow freely”. This productive, liquid state is the zone that is being spoken of when we are “in the zone.”

What does it mean for us to be fluid, given the semi-solid state of our bodies?

It’s our energy, or life force that must flow. Our energy needs to flow freely to experience good health, clear thinking, productivity — it needs to be fluid. But just as the picture above shows, there are three common states for water: liquid, ice and vapor.

Our own energy can also become “frozen” or expand to a dilute, ineffective form. We don’t want to be either too hot, or too cold. Let’s look at the extremes of either case:

Too Cold

The person whose energy is too cold has, or is in danger of becoming, “locked” into place. In this state, we are resistant to change, unlikely to pursue new ideas or areas of learning, and prone to depression and/or pessimism. In the frozen state, we are much more likely to follow than to lead, much more likely to accept our current situation than to do anything to try to better or change, and unable to cope well with either risk or change. Our thoughts and actions are more sluggish than they could be and we fall short of our potential.

The Cure

To release the water from its frozen state we apply heat. Likewise, the same should be done when our energies become too frozen and rigid. Cold is a sedentary condition so our first step is to generate motion. Exercise and proper diet are key, as are social activities, frequent “movement breaks”, lots of fresh air and natural sunlight (full-spectrum lighting is also often beneficial), pets, conversations and friends can provide excellent distractions and help get us moving again. Remembering and visualizing activities we enjoy, goals we want to pursue, and reasons to be happy is useful when in this state — preferably while taking a walk or on the treadmill, however.

Stay Away From

Those of us working on balancing this energy state should avoid:

• sedentary activities, such as long periods of computer usage, reading, listening to music, and too much sleep to name a few.
• too much thinking. In the extremes of this state, thought patterns become negative, repetitive and hard to break free from.
• being isolated for extended periods of time. Friends, family, pets, and even online chat rooms and forums. This is not the time to seek out “alone time”.

Too Hot

The picture of the person whose energy has entered the gas or vapor state is your classic A type personality. This person is on a mission. In fact, they may be on several missions. They have so many interests, goals, ideas and/or commitments that is it hard to find time to rest and simply be.

Anger, irritability, impatience, excess emotionalism, forgetfulness, scattered thoughts, thinking too much (unable to decide) or rash action are all possible characteristics of this state.

The Cure

In this state, our energy has been spread much too thin and is dissipated by our actions. The goal now becomes finding a way to conserve and replenish our energy. This is a time for quiet, reflective activity. Prayer, meditation, and affirmations are all very useful in this state. This state tends to exhaust our energies and we benefit from periods of rest, handling tasks one at a time with a single focus, meditative exercises, such as tai chi, chi qong, and slow run/jogs, and focusing our mind in contemplation on one idea or thought.

Stay Away From

Things that hinder our ability to balance out this state involve:

• haste, rushing around
• lack of sleep
• anger and annoyance
• excessive external-ism and materialism
• and excessive multi-tasking.

Summary

The goal here is to find balance. Any of us can be on any end of the scale, at any time. Learning to recognize how our energy is flowing and what we can do to optimize it on a moment by moment, day by day basis, is a powerful tool in our self-development arsenal.

As always, seeing is believing. Experiment to see how well this model works for you, and as always, let me know!

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